3 Carnivore Kitchen Essentials for Low-Carb Cooking Excellence

One of my biggest challenges over the past few years on a low-carb diet (that won’t break the bank), was learning how to cook. Now I’m not saying that I’ve LEARNED completely, I think its one of those life-long learning type activities like cheating at Pool – but I’ve come a long way, and I’d definitely consider myself “competent” in the kitchen these days, whereas before my level of mastery ranked somewhere between boxed Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and shoddily semi-scrambled eggs.

I find that the biggest make-it or break-it task in low-carb cooking is our big happy four letter word that we all love so much. No, No, not that one – try again and this time remove your cabeza from the gutter and get back to the kitchen… That’s right, I’m talking about:

M-E-A-T (that’s meat, kids)

Yes, Francis. Meat. If you can cook a piece of meat correctly – you can do almost anything in the kitchen. Suddenly cooking becomes a race of timed organization instead of one of execution.

Today we’re going to see if you’re equipped properly, soldier. Tomorrow we will focus on technique. You can’t play baseball without a bat – and you can’t listen to Joy Division without a bad haircut. Its just the proper tool for the job.

Now, in my opinion, the best piece of hardware for this task is a propane grill – I’m sure most of you will agree… However, I live in “the city” and those who actually HAVE private space to be bale to enjoy one are a small percentage – so until I purchase my lakeside log cabin in the woods, I’ll have to be a little more inventive.

Disclaimer, my apartment has an elective stove – which is FAR from ideal, but, hey it works. It heats up fast, but its got a much slower heat-transfer than a gas range does – but hey, you have to work with what you’ve got.

Anyways, about the equipment list. There are required 3 components to my incredibly simple meat-grilling operation.

1 – A Cast Iron Pan. (with or without the “grill ridges”, up to you, sport)

First up, we need some Iron. If you’ve got one, great, if not – go shopping. I got mine from a Wal-Mart SuperStore in my area for about $20. Not too bad for a giant black piece of iron that could just as easily:

• knock out a late night attacker
• be a perfect three stooges prop
• totally shatter all my foot bones if dropped
• be a weighted practice tool for a competition pancake flipper

So, I guess depending on how hardcore you are it has many uses, making $20 a steal. (I have to admit, that I did feel really weird carrying it around the store by the handle like some kind of suburban renegade preparing for the impending zombie-apocalypse). I always find that heavy things convey a sense of value, maybe its my inner blacksmith, but judged by that scale – this thing is QUALITY.

Cast Iron pans carry heat really evenly and stay hot for a very long time, the surface is also slight porous so it gives a much better ’sear’ than any frying pan or non-stick piece of crap out there. If you’ve ever tried cooking burgers or a steak on a Teflon frying pan – the you know EXACTLY what I mean. No only that, but you can even put the damn thing in the oven and finish cooking that way – its basically indestructible (Hmmm, or is it? more on that later).

Now, since we’re on the subject, there are many opinions out there about proper “seasoning” of your grill pan. The pan is supposedly “pre-seasoned” at the factory by dipping it in some kind of vegetable oil and heating the holy hell out of it. Honestly, I didn’t really do anything special to mine – I just started using the bastard and never cleaned it with soap of any kind – I recommend you to do the same. That’s right germ-o-phobes, don’t come to eat at my house! Nah, I’m just kidding, its fine – doing so gives food cooked on it a great flavor that is hard to describe – a flavor that is 1,000 times better than anything that “non-stick” can ever provide (i.e. NONE).

Just one word of warning – apparently cast iron pans can get incredibly brittle if their temperature changes very quickly – so never put a cold pan in a hot oven or put a hot pan under cold water (or throw it in the freezer, I imagine). I don’t know about you – but a shattering / exploding cast iron pan makes me worry that I’d end up on Dr. G Medical Examiner – so you’ve been warned! Remember 90% all accidents occur in the home… (and because of stupidity, over-waxed floors, and meddlesome cats).

2 – Extra Virgin Olive Oil (the pan’s “lubrication”, if you will)

That’s right good ole EVOO – and don’t pay extra for the Rachel Ray stuff – all that money they save from not printing all those extra letters goes right into Rachael’s Chippendales fund – NOT into the hands of old sweat old Italian men who makes “primo” olives.

If you don’t like that strong Olive Oil flavor you can use “light” stuff, or just regular olive oil (its not “extra” virgin, but still pretty innocent). I’ve also used Ghee (or clarified butter), and strained bacon grease in the past – and both work excellently.

When I say “pan lubrication” I mean just that – you should only use enough to coat the bottom of the pan and give a tad of flavor. If you use too much, anything placed on it will spit and sputter like you were trying to deep fry some chicken wings. Not good. Not to mention that the little specks burn your hands AND will leave you cook-top looking like the floor of a McDonalds. Yuck.

3 – Simple Seasonings (The pinnacle of culinary technology)

I’m not a fancy seasoning guy really. I pretty much stick to the basics. But I’m still pretty new to the “Cult of Proper Spicing”.

In fact, back in the old days I might have used a metric ton of “McCormick’s Montreal Steak Seasoning” on anything from hamburgers to chicken. “Wow, look, there is like 15 types of spiciness in there! It must be good!” Yikes. No thanks, today.

I’ve never actually had a steak in Montreal, but I hope there isn’t a true correlation to that product, or I hope all of Montreal either has:

• Seriously numbed taste buds
• A great lust for confusing spice explosions

Currently, my particular seasoning staples are Cracked Black Pepper and Garlic Sea Salt – each in their own grinder / peppermill. Peppercorn Medley is also good if you want a bit more “exotic” taste.

I apply liberally to taste, preferably before cooking. I’m not sure how much of the flavor works its way into the meat if done beforehand – but it does give me the distinct impression that I somehow know what I’m doing. I know if I walked into someones kitchen and they had 2 pre-seasoned steaks sitting out on the counter waiting, I’d think, “Well, these guys must be professionals!”.

Now that we have the proper “war chest” assembled we can tackle our animal enemy head on.

Come back later this week for the proper “technique” on how to finesse our enemy from the fridge, to the pan, the plate, and the stomach – all like a finely trained Lunch Lady that would make Adam Sandler proud.

If anyone else has any additions to above – please let me know in the comments below and I will definitely consider them for Kitchen 2.0.

Related posts:

1. More Low-Carb Cooking Excellence – Stupidly Simple Meat Cooking
2. Top Ten Reasons to go Low-Carb Today