The Path: Self-Image, Mental Fun-House Mirrors, and The ‘G-Word’

Posted by Ryan Robitaille in Growth, Lifestyle, The BasicsJun 17th, 2009 | Comments
Did you ever look in the mirror? Of course you have – No, I mean REALLY look in the mirror? Looking in such a way where you try to see yourself as if you were someone else, all the while wondering “Who is that person?”. If done correctly and honestly – the results can either be refreshing or utterly horrifying. You can never truly know how other people actually regard and percieve you, but if we can at least try to – we can learn a lot about ourselves in the process.
Not to judge people – but physical appearance conveys a LOT of unspoken information in our culture today. Wether you are aware of it or not – you’re always broadcasting some kind of message. What you’re wearing, your body language, your facial expressions, and obviously how many pounds you might be lugging around. Even if you are happy with your weight currently and have no self-image issues or secret vulnerabilities – people generally define you about how you look, through THEIR EYES – not your own, and if that view is unfavorable you have an uphill battle to redefine what they already “know” about you. For someone who is noticibly overweight, these dozens of tiny judgements each day can have a domino effect on your self-confidence and create massive long-term impact on the “big picture” of your life.
Speaking of the “Big Picture”, ask yourself these questions… its ok if you can’t answer them right away, it might take some pondering.
What do I WANT out of life?
What is my LEGACY going to be?
Now these may seem like overly philosophical questions for a site that focuses on weight loss and fitness – but if you really think about it, its realted more closely than you think. Its all about new beginings – changing old habits and cycles that haven’t been working as well as they could. I think that the BEST way to get started on the “New You” is to define some things first.
How about this question…
Who AM I right now?
When I had my big awakening, and changed paths my answer to this question was pretty unremarkable. I didn’t feel I was anything exceptional, I was “just a guy who had some stuff happen in his life, and tried to get along as well as he could”. That sounds like a pretty common answer that many people might give, right? Correct. I bet a lot of people feel that way – but in my own experiece, as a guy who actually said those very words to himself to try and rationalize a number of bad decisions, I think its a load of BS. Why? Because I wasn’t “TRYING to get along as well I could”, I was barely TRYING at all. I was just floating through life blindly – always taking the path of least resistance and doing just enough to get by (sometimes way less than “just enough”, which causes other issues).
I suspect that I’m not alone in feeling / operating that way.
Is that what we want on our gravestones?
“Here lies Ryan – he just floated through life like a piece of crap – then he died. Here lies crap.”
I suspect not.
Say it isn’t so, Ghost of futures past! I can change, I can change!
Sure we can. Whats the cure for this?
One word – 5 letters. Goals.
It doesn’t have to be large scale, long term and monumentous (for example one of Gary Vaynerchuk’s long term goals is to own the NY Jets), in fact, for now – we’re going to keep it small, easy and specific. This is going to be a victory that will set you up for creating REAL goals that have to do with ALL aspects of life (at your work, personal relationships, new careers, socially). Remember when I asked about looking in the mirror? Ok, with that image in your head – ask yourself this, “How do I WANT to look?”. For some people this is a very specific answer – i.e. “I want to fit into my high school prom dress” or “Wear a certain pair of jeans that I wore all the time in College.”, for others its more generic “I want to lose a bunch of fat and replace it with muscle”. I think that may of us have this type of image in mind, which is good – it means that we can still aspire for things.
Try and be realistic – lets not focus on numbers on the scale as much as appearance and feelings. The important thing is that you’ve got that image of a “better you” in your head – this is the version of you that can go after and accomplish all the goals that you cannot. This is the YOU that you need to be.
You’ll always be “you”, but this is a “better you”, a you that laughs in the face of danger and adversity. Your superhero alter-ego.
Who do I WANT to be?
When we become who we want to be – or at least LOOK like the person that we want to be, it gives a bigger confidence and ego boost than almost anything imaginable. That confidence then becomes a launching pad for going after our bigger dreams.
Ok, now we’ve got an attainable goal (trust me, it is attainable – weight loss is no big thing on this plan) that’s going to jump-start us to become the “us” we never thought we’d see. Next post we’ll go step by step on how we’re going to do this. I just wanted to get you in the proper mindset for these changes, this is not a “diet” – this is you standing up and claiming you DNA and using it to ‘crush’ whatever you go after.
Hey – Even conquering the world begins with a first step.
Next step… Strategy..

Did you ever look in the mirror? Of course you have – No, I mean REALLY look in the damn mirror? Looking in such a way where you try to see yourself as if you were someone else, all the while wondering “Who is that person?”. If done correctly and honestly – the results can either be refreshing or utterly horrifying. You can never truly know how other people actually regard and perceive you, but if we can at least try to – we can learn a lot about ourselves in the process.

Not to unfairly judge people – but physical appearance conveys a LOT of unspoken information in our culture today. Whether you are aware of it or not – you’re always broadcasting some kind of message. What you’re wearing, your body language, your facial expressions, and obviously how many pounds you might be lugging around. Even if you are happy with your weight currently and have no self-image issues or secret vulnerabilities – people generally define you about how you look, through THEIR EYES – not your own, and if that view is unfavorable you have an uphill battle to redefine what they already “know” about you. For someone who is noticeably overweight, these dozens of tiny judgements each day can have a domino effect on your self-confidence and create massive long-term impact on the “big picture” of your life.

Speaking of the “Big Picture”, ask yourself these questions… its ok if you can’t answer them right away, it might take some pondering.

What do I WANT out of life?

What is my LEGACY going to be?

Now these may seem like overly philosophical questions for a site that focuses on weight loss and fitness – but if you really think about it, its related more closely than you think. Its all about new beginnings – changing old habits and cycles that haven’t been working as well as they could. I think that the BEST way to get started on the “New You” is to define some things first.

How about this question…

Who AM I right now?

When I had my big awakening, and changed paths my answer to this question was pretty unremarkable. I didn’t feel I was anything exceptional, I was “just a guy who had some stuff happen in his life, and tried to get along as well as he could”. That sounds like a pretty common answer that many people might give, right? Correct. I bet a lot of people feel that way – but in my own experience, as a guy who actually said those very words to himself to try and rationalize a number of bad decisions, I think its a load of BS. Why? Because I wasn’t “TRYING to get along as well I could”, I was barely TRYING at all. I was just floating through life blindly – always taking the path of least resistance and doing just enough to get by (sometimes way less than “just enough”, which causes other issues).

I suspect that I’m not alone in feeling / operating that way.

GraveIs that what we want on our gravestones?

“Here lies Ryan – he just floated through life like a piece of crap – then he died. Here lies crap.”

Hmmm, catchy – but, I suspect not.

Say it isn’t so, Ghost of futures past! I can change, I can change!

Sure we can. So whats the cure for this?

One word – 5 letters. Goals.

It doesn’t have to be large scale, long term and momentous (for example one of Gary Vaynerchuk’s long term goals is to own the NY Jets), in fact, for now – we’re going to keep it small, easy and specific. This is going to be a victory that will set you up for creating REAL goals that have to do with ALL aspects of life (at your work, personal relationships, new careers, socially). Remember when I asked about looking in the mirror? Ok, with that image in your head – ask yourself this, “How do I WANT to look?”. For some people this is a very specific answer – i.e. “I want to fit into my high school prom dress” or “Wear a certain pair of jeans that I wore all the time in College.”, for others its more generic “I want to lose a bunch of fat and replace it with muscle”. I think that may of us have this type of image in mind, which is good – it means that we can still aspire for things.

Try and be realistic – lets not focus on numbers on the scale as much as appearance and feelings. The important thing is that you’ve got that image of a “better you” in your head – this is the version of you that can go after and accomplish all the goals that you cannot. This is the YOU that you need to be.

You’ll always be “you“, but this is a “better you“, a you that laughs in the face of danger and adversity. Your superhero alter-ego.

Who do I WANT to be?

When we become who we want to be – or at least LOOK like the person that we want to be, it gives a bigger confidence and ego boost than almost anything imaginable. That confidence then becomes a launching pad for going after our bigger dreams.

Ok, now we’ve got an attainable goal (trust me, it is attainable – weight loss is no big thing on this plan) that’s going to jump-start us to become the “us” we never thought we’d see. Next post we’ll go step by step on how we’re going to do this. I just wanted to get you in the proper mindset for these changes, this is not a “diet” – this is you standing up and claiming you DNA and using it to ‘crush’ whatever you go after.

Hey – Even conquering the world begins with a first step…

Next step… Strategy.

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